Here Comes the Sunrise

Everything has been going great in the past few weeks because I have, by the work of God, gotten back into school and I get to run this season. God opened up so many doors for this to happen and I am very happy about it. But this time that I am going through right now has been tough. I have been with Emma constantly for the past six months and I came back home by myself last week. So needless to say, I feel alone and that something is missing. My bank account keeps going negative too, so I've been job hunting every day and I've always hated job hunting. Then a few days ago, I was feeling very down and depressed when I decided to pick up the guitar and learn a new song. My little brother gave me a Brandon Heath CD so I decided to pick a random song and I picked "Sunrise" without even looking at the lyrics. Then as I was going through the lyrics I realized that this song was truly encouraging me, it was somehow putting a smile on my face. God has been speaking to me more and more lately and He is my sunrise.

I may be paranoid, but not an android

Paranoid Android by Radiohead.

Listen to it.

Feel it.

Love it.

Pass it on.

I love this song for so many reasons. To start off, of course those who know me know that I love Radiohead so the fact that it is by radiohead is a pretty big deal! Point number two, the lyrics are thought provoking, calming, motivating and gve me that feeling of love for music. I also very much like the guitar parts in this song, i'm trying to learn it for my boyfriend and that has made me really appreciate the guitar part. I also love the different moods this song goes through, just like how I can go from upset to, happy to sad to loving to concerned and apathetic in a matter of 6:23. 

Amen and amen

"A Glass Can Only Spill What it Contains"

"What new mystery is this? In Overflowing Emptiness, the invisible is seen among the shadows and the mist, before my doubting eyes, the infinite appears in time, the unquestionable is questioned but makes no reply" -mewithoutYou

The lyrics of this song (and almost every other mewithoutYou song) pierce deeply into my thoughts. I hear so many things when I hear these lyrics. I hear that when I am feeling empty I also feel like I'm about to explode with so much emptiness that it just fills me and eats me up inside. I hear that if you look hard enough for the invisible things in life you will see them, but you will not believe that you saw them. I have been looking for God all my life and when I see him among the "shadows and the mist" I doubt it with all my heart, and think that it wouldn't be that easy to see after looking so hard. I hear that I am asking God about the wrong things and that is why I am hearing no reply. 

One Saturday Morning

Emma and I have been awake for quite some time now. 

We cleaned our room so, now it is partly clean which is fantastic! 

But then we ended up watching a few movies, Semi-Pro and Hound Dog.  

Turns out the time slipped by and it was then 9:00 so we are watching some nice saturday morning cartoons!

 Full day ahead, time to house sit for my mom! YES!

Going through life by learning the ups and downs by going through them personally can be tough. Okay that's an understatement to say the least...I'm starting to learn some of the hardest things in life, or at least I hope so. I've learned that I need to get out of bed and actually go to class because no one is going to care unless I, personally, care. I've learned that when I get too close to a friend I tend to completely push them away. As a result of learning that I've learned that I'm a total idiot for doing that. As a result of that I'm learning what I actually need to do when I'm getting close with a friend, and that is to embrace that friendship. Times are going to get tough but that's what friends are for, God put them in our lives for a reason and the only way to figure that out is by letting them be your friend, becoming the most vulnerable that you can be. I am learning that I need to stop cruising through life and  start doing something to make a difference. I have learned that in order for me to feel significant in this world, I need to do something significant, and I won't have it any other way.

Figuring out me editing...

I've been up for a while now...since like five-ish working on figuring out the editing system that i bought...anyway, I figured a lot of stuff out and i figured i would put up what i just threw together a few minutes ago...enjoy

MFEO

So, sometimes I go through those phases where I only see the down side of things, which can sometimes be very little in comparison to the up-side of things. So, I just thought I should let all who read this small pathetic blog of mine know that one of the best things happening in my life right now is the development of a friendship. God has truly blessed me with the presence and love of Emma Miller and I think that we will always be the best of friends. We stay up late together laughing and talking, we coordinate our outfits to match during dodgeball, we go out to eat instead of eating the horrible college food that is served, we make everyone feel like third wheel that is around us, we cry together, we laugh together and we truly love one another. When I look at Emma I can safely say that God meant for us to meet and be friends. She is my hero and my encourager. And that is how it will always be. (She is also the only one subscribed to me right now, therefore possibly the only one reading this:) Regardless, we were made for eachother MFEO