MFEO

So, sometimes I go through those phases where I only see the down side of things, which can sometimes be very little in comparison to the up-side of things. So, I just thought I should let all who read this small pathetic blog of mine know that one of the best things happening in my life right now is the development of a friendship. God has truly blessed me with the presence and love of Emma Miller and I think that we will always be the best of friends. We stay up late together laughing and talking, we coordinate our outfits to match during dodgeball, we go out to eat instead of eating the horrible college food that is served, we make everyone feel like third wheel that is around us, we cry together, we laugh together and we truly love one another. When I look at Emma I can safely say that God meant for us to meet and be friends. She is my hero and my encourager. And that is how it will always be. (She is also the only one subscribed to me right now, therefore possibly the only one reading this:) Regardless, we were made for eachother MFEO

Sometimes You Have To Be Your Own Best Friend

For the past year I have come to the realization that the best company a person can have is themself.  I will always be here for myself, I know myself better than anyone, I know what I want, and I won't ever leave. I should be enough company for myself, shouldn't I? But, everytime that I believe this I still feel alone. God should be a part of this entire equation but for some reason He is absent. People say that God will always be there for you and He will never let you down, well...okay I guess. But, I am alone and I feel let down...I've been trying to figure all of this out for years now and I keep coming to the same answer...nothing. Just emptiness that can only be filled by my own psychological efforts. 

When everything is lonely 
I can be my own best friend 
Get a coffee and the paper have my own conversations 
With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection 
The mask I polish in the evening 
By the morning looks like shit 
And I know you have a heavy heart 
I can feel it when we kiss 

But what was normal in the evening 
By the morning seems insane 
And I'm not sure what the trouble was 
That started all of this 
The reasons all have run away 
But the feeling never did 
Not something I would recommend 
But it is one way to live 
Cause what is simple in the moonlight 
By the morning never is 
Yeah it was simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated 

Changing Weather

Not only does the weather keep changing everyday, but so is my mood from day to day.

Well, if I could tame all of my desires  Wait out the weather that howls in my brain  Because it seems that it�s always changing  The wind's indecision, the sorrowful rain  I was a postcard, I was a record  I was a camera until I went blind  Now I�m riding all over this island  Looking for something to open my eyes 

Train Underwater-Bright Eyes

Everyday, or even every hour is different in my head. I can be happy go lucky at one second and then it will completely change. I think about myself too much and I ruin who I love. These drastic changes are starting to make my head hurt. It's like how the weather is changing so often because of "global warming" and eventually it is all going to overflow into a flood. It will eventually flood over my entire being.

A Common Introduction

I would like to take this space up to introduce myself. 

My name is Jes Scott and as of February 19, 2009, I am 21 years old. 

I go to Bethel College in Mishawaka, Indiana I major in Communications and I run both track and cross country.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?  No, but I have told people that I was named after Queen Jessica of Scotland because my name is Jessica Scott, and quite honestly, a few people actually believed that...hmmm.... 

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  I believe that the last time I cried would have been a few nights ago while I was with my friend Emma. I wasn't really allowing myself to cry, but the feeling and the tears were there... 

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?  Heck no, I have anorexic handwriting... 

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?  I like the Hilshire farm meats because they fresh instead of funky... 

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?  I consider my fish to be mine, his name is Valentino 

 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?  Heck yes 

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?  Very much, in fact I struggle with people taking me seriously when it comes to certain things. People always just assume that I am being sarcastic, because the difference between serious and sarcastic is not major.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?  yep

 9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?  Definitley! It is one of the things on my list of things to do.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?  I thorougly enjoy a bowl of Reeses Puffs accompanied by a cold can of Dew! 

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?  Nope, unless they are particularly tight...  

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?  I used to, until I met Emma and she dominated me in everything that I did... 

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?  I love a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream mmmmmm 14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?  Unfortunatley the first thing I always notice about people is how they look. Yes I know I am shallow, but I'm just being honest....  

15. RED OR PINK?  Red, hate pink 

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?  Probably the fact that I can't get anything done right now and how lazy I've become. 

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?  My mom and my dog Buddy 

18. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?  I'm definitley not wearing shoes because I'm in bed, but I was wearing my super warm vans.  

19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?  A baked lays bbq potato chip 

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  Radiohead, the song right now is Exit Music(for a film) from the Album OK Computer. 

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?  White because then no one would use me and I would always look fresh.  

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?  This may sound creepy but all of my friends an family have certain smells to them and I am very comforted when I smell that. 

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?  Emma Miller  

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?  Definitley beach house, have you ever been in a mountain when a storm hits, it's super scary and loud. On the beach it is just beautiful!  

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?  I really like to watch football, especially if my favorite team is playing. (Seattle Seahawks)  

27. HAIR COLOR?  I'm not positive what the name of it is but it is a dark rich brown that has a redish purple tone to it and then I have one purple streak in my hair that is starting to fade into a red wine color.

 28. EYE COLOR?  blue  

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?  unfortunatley, but they are clear 30. FAVORITE FOOD?  Right now, chocolate frosting! 

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?  Scary movies, happy endings don't ever make me feel happy, they make me realize the imposibility of a happy ending.

 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?  Ace Ventura Pet Detective ;)  

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?  I'm wearing a white volcom t-shirt that has lime green and yellow graphics and I'm wearing my black vest. 

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?  Summer, definitley summer! I can't wait for this Hell of a winter to be over! Curse you middle east!

 35. HUGS OR KISSES?  I like hugs more than kisses because you can get hugs from everyone but you can only get kisses from some. Otherwise you will be considered a whore...  

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?  when my mom makes chocolate chocolate cake! 

 37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?  I like both because they both are very beneficial but I'll take a cardio work out before i test my strength and feel weak. 

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?  computer  

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?  I'm reading a lot of books because of school, so I'll tell you the closest one to me...The Rhetorical Act-thinking, speaking, and writing critically 

42. FAVORITE SOUND?  Music, especially Radiohead 

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?  Seattle Washington! Favorite place by the way!

 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?  I am a runner, people tell me that I sing okay, I play guitar with minimal knowledge of it... 

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?  A military hospital in Texas 

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?  Mishawaka Indiana 

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?  I'm in a dorm, and it's brick 

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?  Red...oohh Zoey! 

Anyway, that is me....but there is more to it than that as you may have guessed so stick around and enjoy the show.